Leaders vs Bosses

Last year, I've attended a class of 'Leadership and Management' and I've to do an assignment on my organisation leadership and management style. My assignment ...... wasn't that good but what I found in the organisation ........ very, very interesting.

Nowadays, people always refer the top people in the organisation as LEADERS. Are they really LEADERS? Do they really lead you to something or they just tell you what to do ..... which also known as BOSSES? Just think about it. Which one do you prefer? A LEADER or a BOSS?

Hhmnn......... easy question ....... the answer ....... quite a dilemma.

'Hah! Why make things so complicated?' (At least that is what one of my friend said).'Leaders or bosses ..... what's the different ......they are still our superior'.

Yeah ........ agree ..... for both issues. First, I do sometimes make things a little bit complicated and leaders and bosses, they are the superior people. But .......... LEADERS and BOSSES are not the same and personally, I would prefer to be with the LEADERS instead of BOSSES.( ....if I have the choices)

So, what's the different between LEADERS and BOSSES? Okay, I'll just use what my friend paste on her desk. We'll just see if it's true.

1)    The BOSS drives his men.
       The LEADER inspire them.

It's true, it's true ...... bosses will just give orders and instructs the subordinate or the workers what to do. No question should be ask because they are the bosses. So, you'll just need to do what was told but LEADERS do not need to tell their people what to do because they just have that aura that really inspire people to do things.

2)   The BOSS depends on authority
      The LEADERS depends on goodwill.

Hhmnn ........ how many times have you seen that? Stressing on the power that they have ....?

3)   The BOSS evokes fear
      The LEADER radiates love.

Sounds familiar? Some even try as much as possible to avoid their BOSSES.

4)   The BOSS says "I"
      The LEADER says "we"

This is happening in lots of organisation. The BOSSES can't really focus on other people besides themselves. So, how can they see the "we".

5)   The BOSS shows who is wrong
      The LEADER shows what is wrong.

This ...... definitely happening in my work place. It's confirmed ...... I have a BOSS.

6)   The BOSS knows how it is done
      The LEADER know to do it.

That's why BOSSES always instruct. They just want the result but they will not show how to do it because most of the time ................ they don't know how do do it. (he..he..he..)

7)   The BOSS demands respect
      The LEADER commands respect.

Of course, the BOSSES want you to respect them and of course people will respect them when they are in-front of the BOSSES. Behind them ........ only ALLAH knows but LEADERS ....... people will just respect them where ever the go.

Can you see now ...... there are differences between BOSSES and LEADERS. What do you think? Is it true? Hopefully, it will help you reflect again on the issue. At least it did help me really think about it and sum up with all the theories I learnt in the classes.

My friends, I believe, it's easier to be a BOSS than to be a LEADER and it's even more fun to be a BOSS than to be a LEADER but it's totally  up to the individual whether to be a BOSS or to be a LEADER. Insyaallah, all of us will be a good LEADER one day.

'Special' people

Are you special?

What make you special?

If you gets lot of A's in your exam ....... does it makes you special?
If you are related to the royalty or celebrities .......... does it makes you special?
If you work with the top management people and rubbing shoulders with all the Dato' or Tan Sri ..... does that makes you extra special?

So, ....... what's my point? My point is .......it's only you can make yourself special.

Last month, someone park at my car park which is located for me by the company with the car number written on the lot. I want to get angry but to get angry for a parking space .......... not really worth the energy. So, I just  keep things cool and just left a message telling the car owner that the parking space is allocated for me, and I'm working everyday and I need the parking space.

So, the next day, the same car park at my parking space again. I was like hurgghh!!! Trying not to be angry ..... but I'm just a human okay. What I did was ...... I just park my car behind that car with the s****d owner.

Ha..ha..ha .. just guess what happened? Chaos ....... it was chaotic because I'm kind of blocking the traffic a little (but it was fun!!) and somebody came to warned me that I must beware of my action because I've park behind a 'special' persons' car. The person is a 'special' person to Dato'. I was like .......'are you kidding me?'

So, coming back to the topic .....'special' people. What makes the 'special' person to Dato' very, very special that she can just ignore my note and just park at my car park? What makes her so special that I have  to beware of my action? Just because she is a 'special' person to Dato' does not mean she is special to everybody or can just be rude to everybody. Right?? I had to move my car to another place but I'm satisfied because I got my message noticed and got my car park back the next day.

Aren't we all special? I believe I am special, my children are special, my families are special, my friends and everybody around me are special on their own way. We must believe, we are special in our own way. Some  human is blessed and chosen by ALLAH to be more special than others but that is a whole different story. But we are also blessed with our own speciality. Acknowledge yourselves. There's no one can make you less special except yourself.

My 'Special' 

When the cup is always full

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting something go every day. – Zen Proverb

Hi! Happy Chinese New Year.

'When your cup is always full, you can't learn anything my dear'. That was what my lecturer said to my friend when she argued about her assignment with him. I didn't really catch the real meaning of it at that time, maybe because I was young or maybe because my cup was just empty he..he.. 


Anyway, I'm writing on this because I came across this quote again and again and last night my mom was so angry with my dad and she said that my dad is someone who is 'cerdik tak boleh diikut, bodoh tak boleh diajar'( in Malay) which means almost the same thing. It means someone who refuse to accept other people suggestion or any new input. Then, I thought I should reflect on this quote/proverb.


Or course, if you think you are very smart, knows everything, you will want people to follow you instead of you following the people. I can truly understand that because we like things to be done in our way. We like people to respect us for having the knowledge.We feel very proud if our suggestion being implemented and more if our names are printed anywhere near our work. Aren't  we? So, why should we be listening to others? 


But learning is a never ending process. Process is a continuous procedure and  knowledge is about learning something every day. Then, how can a person claimed to know everything? How can a person claimed to have all the knowledge? If a person, a human being knows everything ...... does that mean he doesn't has to learn anything more. That is so ....... impossible.


But the things that we thought it is impossible ...... is actually the thing happening in our environment. It's happening around us and amazingly, it happens a lot in my work place. Some of the people who I work with think that they know everything. They are professionals, academician which should be learning more  (at least .... that is what I thought) but they are the people who refused to learn. They want you to listen to them. They even cut off your conversation, so that you will listen to what they had to say. They would not take your suggestion because they have a better one. They know everything because they ' kami lebih dulu makan garam' (it means that they are more experience)


As a human being, we accept that we are not perfect but why are we pretending that we know everything. We should be learning everyday and whether we realize it or not, there's always a new thing to be learn each day. It's not necessary a big thing or an academic thing but there's always things to be learn. Age is not the limit. Doesn't matter how old we are, they should be always a space for learning. The question is ........ whether we want to learn or not. It is totally up to us.


My friends, we must never stop learning but we think that we know everything about everything. We can't learn if the cup is always full. Learning is an ongoing process. Maybe, we should start with making some space in our tea cup. Then we can fill in with some new tea.

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting something go every day. – Zen Proverb

IQ vs EQ

People say that when you are smarter, you are more mature. When you are more mature, then you can handle more things in life smoothly. Is that true? Me.... ? I fully doubt that.

Intelligent quotient (IQ) is a tool to measure how intelligent you are. It's just a general measurement of how smart you are in the general population. According to the test, most people will fall under the 'average' category. Have you done any IQ test? You should. It's fun but when you got a high score, it's not necessarily says that you are smarter from those who have lower score.

Emotional quotient (EQ) is also a tool and it measures your emotional coping mechanism. It shows how good you handle your problems and stresses. The higher you score, you are a better person in handling your problems and stresses.

There is no doubt that IQ and EQ are closely related but it's not necessarily congruently progress. Supposedly, when you have higher IQ, you are smarter and you should be smarter in handling the stress. Hhmnn ...... I fully doubt that. Maybe it happen in theory but in real life ....... it's not necessarily work that way. Sometimes it even goes totally to the opposite way.

Let me just bring you through my recent experience in my work place. 

November and December are the busiest months of the year in my organization. Why ...? These are the time when most people trying to clear up their annual leave, lots of dateline to reach, budgets to sum, contract to renew and the whole long list of things to be done before the new year comes. One of my colleague, a foreigner, was due for his renewal of contract on that particular November. Unfortunately, the boss met him and told the bad news of the probability of not continuing the working contract and he must go home. Then, the EQ kicked in.

We understand that he was in a lot of stress but he is a professional with lot of experiences. He is a man with high academic background, middle age (suppose to have more life experiences), with family around him. So, we thought he should be handling the stress well. Some of the colleagues even helped him look for other places for any suitable position for him to prepare him for the worst. Instead of preparing himself for the worst, he changed for the worst. His attitude was totally changed. He started to scold  the students and ignore other people suggestion. He doesn't want to listen to anything. He started to collect enemies. Soon, other colleague just leave him on his own.

It is amazing how the level of EQ affect you. Doesn't matter how high is your IQ, it doesn't mean that they can cope with the stress very well. When it come to problems and stresses, anybody can have a breakdown .........even the smartest person in the world.

The most important thing is to know yourself. Whether you are a university graduate or just a secondary school leaver, we are just equal when it comes to handling our problems and stresses. Then, know yourself, identify the problem and evaluate yourself whether you need any extra support in handling your problem. There are lot of support out there for us to seek.

Do not let your super ego override you. High IQ does not guaranteed  a high EQ. Lower IQ does not mean you have lower EQ. Coping well with life = IQ + EQ.

Good feeling for others

I love to read the article by Bridget Menezes in the Sun newspaper. She has a small column there every Monday that really inspire me and makes me think and re-think about what's happening in our day life activities. It's amazing when you reflect on your life and compare it with now and then. It's amazing to just follow up on the path of how we grow physically, socially or even emotionally. I believe, she has touched and inspire lot of other people feelings. Well done.

Anyway, last Monday (9/1/2012), she wrote about how good feeling for others can foster closeness and give you happiness. Let us just pause for a while and think about it. Yes! It's true. If you are happy, and you feel good about other people and feel good for them, it will just make you even happier. Amazing right?. Simple .... but yet ...works!

Nowadays, most people ( at least some people around me at the moment) tend to see and  think negatively about other people. Especially when they don't really know you and even worse when they don't like you. Nothing seems to be right or good when it comes from you. They are always paranoid (bad thoughts) about you. These people will always blame other people for any bad things happened to them. For example, if they are suddenly fall sick, then it is cause by someone who is jealous of them and has put some charms on them. That why they got sick.( I thought it was the microorganism .... he.he). When they failed to do or get something, then it is also because of some other people. Looking on how they view life, their life must be very hectic and miserable because they must always find somebody to blame for what's happening to them. What a life!

There was one day that I accompanied my friend to meet her friend. Her friend also brought a friend  to accompanied him. After a while, his friend said to me ' You don't like me ...... do you?. I was like 'Haa..? with my mouth wide open. How can a person like or don't like a person when you don't even know the person. That is how easy to have bad feelings toward others.

Am I complaining now? Hhmn... maybe I'm also infected and affected by all this not good feeling or ........ maybe I'm just ventilating. It's good to ventilate once in a while.

It's actually true that we must have happiness in ourselves and maintain it by having good feelings toward others. Be positive in life. Believe in yourself. Have faith. We must always remember that we are just human. We make mistake. It's good if someone can identify our mistakes and tell us about it. So, we can correct and learn from it. We must learn how to accept healthy criticism. We must learn how to accept challenges without manifesting withdrawal or aggression. As Miss Menezes said in her article, we must not let our ego to be too attached to ourselves because it can easily hurt us and make us lack of confidence.

These are all what we were thought by our parents, teachers, religion and all others before us. We were thought to be good to others, to treat others well, to feel good for others. Somehow, along the way some of us lost it bit by bit. This shouldn't be happening.

Dear friends, let us continue feeling good for others and hopefully we will be bless with the everlasting happiness, Insyaallah.

Holding to your principles

Hello everybody! I think it's not that late to wish everybody Happy New Year.

Talking about new year, most people will never fail to ask you about your new year resolution. Hmnn.... a new year resolution. Is it a must to have a new year resolution? I think, it's up to the individual whether they should or shouldn't have one. However, I do have my own new year resolution and it actually started earlier on the first day of the Islamic calendar, the first Muharram. Today, I'm just emphasizing myself on my resolution.

So, what is my new year resolution? You really want to know? I guess, I must tell you on how I got it first.

The last two years, I was quite unhappy with my career. One of my ex-lecturer who also work in the same place now once told me that I was not performing. She said, I was not like myself. That was about a year ago and I was so upset about it. I was upset because I was already feeling unhappy with myself back then. Now, even after a year of the incidence, I'm still feeling upset with myself. I don't feel that I am me any more. The last few months, I can't think of anything that I can proud of ..... I mean from my career wise. Reflecting to what my ex-lecturer said, she was right ...... I'm just not being ME. I have to be me again.

BEING ME ....... MY OWN ME ...... Yes ! That's my new year resolution. I want to be me again. Being somebody who is very strong and firm but yet adorable (he..he.. just to feel nice about myself). Being a person who cares about lot of things, well like by many, many people. Being a person who doesn't have to hide the truth about life. Being a person who has lots of desire and enthusiasm. Just want to be my real self again.

Why? What happened? How did I changed to be NOT MYSELF.

It was actually very easy and happened without you even realized. Every each of us has our own rules in life and certain principles that you stand on. You have your own beliefs system but when we have to go against it to adapt yourself to the new environment, it will create a conflict in yourself. In the beginning, it doesn't interfere much with your life and you don't really feel the uncomfortness  or the unhappiness because you were just to busy trying to adapt yourself to your new environment. But, after a while, once you feel that you are adapted to the environment, you'll still feel something is just not right. You don't really feels that you fit into the new environment. You don't really feel happy with what you are doing.

This is what's  happening to me. It's truly my fault ...... I know. I let myself go against my principles. I'm doing something that I feel that is not right to do. I bend myself towards the wrong way. I put my beliefs behind me just because I want to adapt to my new environment. Basically, I'm just doing things for other people with how they want it without thinking or putting my side of input. I'm doing it even when I realized it is not the way it suppose to be done.

I realized now that I've made a mistake. I'm trying to correct myself and do the right things. There are lots of  your self qualities that you should maintain and keep in order to main your  real self. We shouldn't change ourselves for any people or because other people. If we need to change ...... then, change for yourself, because you want it and for the better future.

So, my friends ......... just be your good self. Believe in yourselves. Hold to your principles.

Happy New Year!