When we get older .....

When we get older ......... we should be wiser.
Considering the knowledge and the experience that a person went through, they should be wiser .... right? SHOULD but it's not a must. Most people gain knowledge and learn as the day goes but for some, they don't learn anything. It's like their brain shrunk with no brain cells any more. They act as if they are the greatest, knows everything but in reality.....they are EMPTY.

When we get older ......... we should listen more.
Yes, listen more. Logically, when we get older, our senses will be less sensitive. Our hearing might be compromised at some point. So, we should be focusing on what we are listening rather than thinking that you know what people are saying when you can't even listen. Please listen to what people want to say. It might be useful to us and don't jump into conclusion without listening the whole story because it will be ANNOYING.

When we get older ......... we should talk less.
Talk less of unnecessary issues. Talk more on the good things. Talk something that will be useful for the younger generation. Maybe you were there during some historical moment which will be worth to share or maybe you had some experience that can be a  good lesson to them. So, tell them the good stories. Please don't talk about other people weaknesses or gossiping about other people. If you don't have anything good to say ...... DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

When we get older ......... we should be advising not nagging.
Nag, nag and nag. People say that you should have achieved a lot of things when you reach at certain age and when you achieved your objective, you'll be more contented. Supposedly, if you're contented, you'll have more advice to give to the younger generation. Help them to go through this life. Guide them the right way. Don't scold them unnecessarily and continues nagging them when they are not doing it right. PLEASE DO NOT NAG.

When we get older, we should have more knowledge, more experience, more sweet memories to share and life should be fuller and happier. We should EARN MORE RESPECT not DISRESPECT. We should be LOVE not HATE.

Dear friends. This is purely from my thoughts and I'm just reminding myself about getting older. Hopefully, it will help to remind others too.

Judging the book by its cover

Actually, the actual quote will be 'Don't judge the book by its cover' but I just feel that it's more interesting  to discuss the other way round because that is what we usually do. Maybe not everybody but ......  most of us .....and  that includes me.

Yesterday, one of my senior colleague approached me and told me that he had underestimated me. Hhmnn ..... underestimating me ha....? He said that I don't look like who I really am. Hhmn .......interesting. I told him that it's totally okay with me because he doesn't really know me personally. He was judging me by my physical appearance and he admit it. So,it's okay with me.

Honestly, how many people doesn't judge a person from the looks or a book by its' cover? How many? I believe ..... not many. It's natural process of life. The eyes always wanted to see something beautiful and attractive. How many times you had seen the guys turning head twice for a pretty and sexy girls? They do that ... always. Ladies ...... how many times, you are lured to buy something that you don't really need just because it's beautiful? Me? Lot of time. It's just to say that we do judge something by how it looks.

So, is it wrong to judge something by it's cover? If it is wrong, why do we emphasize of giving a good first impression? For example, we will dress smartly for an interview to give a good first impression. Doesn't that mean that we are actually encouraging people to give a quick judgement from how we look? Haargh ...... it's really confusing.

In my career as a nurse, judging from how people look like is equally important as how they feel in making the correct nursing diagnosis.It's called assessment. This is part of nursing process. The good thing of the nursing process is, it doesn't ended with just an assessment. It will be followed by diagnosing the problem, planning the action, intervene and re-evaluate. Our life is just the same.

So, from my view, there's nothing wrong with judging someone by her looks or judging a book by it's cover but it must not just stop at that point only. If you're judging a person, then you have to get to know him/her more to justify the initial thoughts that you have about him/her. Then, re-evaluate and only then, get your final impression.

We are given the eyes to see, the ears to listen and the brain to think. What you see .... will go to the brain, what you hear .... will go to the brain. Think properly before you make the judgement. We are given all the senses. So, use it  wisely.

You'll never know if you don't try

Today, I actually aggressively persuade  someone to read my blog ( forcing in a nice way). Thinking about it .......it's kind of embarrassing. I don't really know why I did that but maybe because I desperately want  someone to confirm whether I can really write or not. I really, really need someone to say ' Anis ..... you got a talent' and then the person whom I persuaded said ' Anis .... your writing is quite good'. Wow!

Actually, few of my friends have also gave good comments on my writing. Maybe I just need a reconfirmation before I sign up with a writing class. Anyway, this is not the first time that I get the comment with my writing. According to my lecturer when I was doing my bachelor degree ....... ' Anis ...... your answers are too long, too much of unnecessary elaboration . You must make it short and concise'. My answer was always 'Okay' and it did becomes a little shorter. Just a few sentence shorter. What can I do? I love to elaborates my words. But she did says that my writing was good for different kind of writing, not for answering exam question.

The thing is, maybe people that close to you or your friend or anybody can identify your talent or your skill but the most important is for us to identify it ourself as well. We need to know that we do have the talent that the people say. If we don't realised that, we will never start to try.... right?

Secondly, we need to try to make it happen. The first person who identify my writing skill was my Bahasa Malaysia teacher in Form four. I was sixteen then, That was over 20 years ago but I never tried. So, it never happen. Hhmnn .......

Dear friends, I believe every each of us is created with lot of skills and talents.We just need to identify the one perfect for us. The skill or talent that makes us happy when we do it. The one that makes us comfortable with ourself. The one that make us feel nice about ourself.

Once we identify it, we should try to make it happen. We will never know where it's going to bring us to. Maybe you'll be someone with great success. Maybe, it doesn't bring you anywhere. We don't really know what's going to happen ..... do we?

Doesn't matter how many skills you have or how many talents you have or how many people tell you that you are good with something, the most important thing to know is that you'll never know if you don't try.

Life is too short

Today, one of my cats died. Her name was Meimey and she was only eight months old. She was like a baby to me and as usual, I cried. I love cats but it's very hurting when they died. It really hurts.

Maybe for some people, it's ridiculous to cry for a cat but I don't really mind what people think about that because we a just different people. We are individual and we have our own opinion.

For a few moment, I sit and think about my dead cat. Thinking about the unconditional love that she gave to me for the last few months and now ..... there's no more. It also remind me on how short our life is. Today we are laughing and enjoying life and tomorrow ........

It also remind me on how much time we spend  with our love ones. Our family, our children, our friends and lot of other people around us. Sometimes, we don't even realise that we are surrounded with many people around us because they are always around us. Sometimes,  we forget to say thank you for the help given to us     ........ especially the tiny little help from the usual people that has always been very supporting.

Life is a journey but we don't know when it will end. Life is too short ...... sometimes, we don't realise that we have come to the end. The most important thing is, however you want to spend your life ..... spend it wisely.
Life is just too short.

Destiny

Do you believe in destiny? I do.

I believe, most people do believe in destiny. So, if we believe in destiny it means we believe that there are things which are meant for us or events meant to happen to us. Because it's our destiny, doesn't matter what you do or how you do it, the end results will just be like how it's determined for us. IT"S DESTINY.

If  I think like how my daughter does (she's 14), we don't have to work hard or sacrifice time, money, effort and lot of other things just to achieve the objective that we have tabulate for the rest of our life. Why work too hard when we believe something will still happen even when you're trying hard to avoid it. IT'S DESTINY but that is how my adolescent daughter think at the moment.

Most of us believe in destiny but do we know what's going to happen to us? Do we know what is predetermined for us? Should we just wait for it to happen or can we change our destiny? There are thousands of questions that we can think of but do we really know?

My personal view, only Allah knows. Only HE knows what is going to happen to us in future but I'm happy with that. I want good things to happen to me.  I'm dreaming of having a beautiful future but I don't know whether I'm going to achieve all that. Sometimes, I strongly feels that everything will be good but some other time, it just feels as if it's too much to achieve. I just have the idea of my future and I'm working hard for it and  never forget to pray for it to happen.

You know what? I don't mind at all of not knowing what is there for me. IT'S DESTINY. I don't mind at all. The not knowing moves me forward everyday. It gives me the motivation to work harder for something, to be positive all the time AND to be more optimistic. I love this quote by Richard Hovey - ' I do not know beneath what sky nor on what seas shall thy fate; I only know it shall be high, I only know it shall be great'. Just think positive of the future and work for it.

Don't just think of what is there for us but also think of how to get there.Think of the process of getting to what we want, where we want to be or achieving what we have set for. Life is not just about the outcome but more on the process of getting the outcome . Just like Ursula K. Le Guin - ' It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matter in the end.

Dear friends, let us create our beautiful journey towards our DESTINY. What ever it's there for us, always pray it's a good one and Insyaallah (with Allah wills), our life will be colourful and beautiful.

Sensitivity

I am naturally a sensitive person. I cry everytime when my cats died. I cry for sad stories, romantic stories and for lot of other stories. Hhmn..... maybe I'm just being too sensitive but I believe it's help me to be sensitive and caring towards the patient I cared for and also towards my profession.

My profession? I am a nurse.

People say that as we grow older, we become more sensitive. Easily touched by any news, more sympathetic, more empathetic and supposedly more sensitive toward others feeling. How true is the saying? Can't really agree with it.

Why not? I don't know. I don't think it's true nowadays. What people said those days doesn't seem to be applicable any more. I feel that people are less sensitive nowadays. The higher the position, the less sensitive they become. The more exposure they have, the less sensitive they become. The more people they know, the less sensitive they become. Doesn't matter how old they are, they become more and more INSENSITIVE.

How do people becomes insensitive? I'm also wondering. Especially when they were a nurse themselves. They are suppose to be the caring people with a sensitive heart. That is how they manage to feel or to understand other peoples feeling but they simply lost their skill to sympathize and empathize. They tend to preach more things that they don't do rather the things that they suppose to do.  They tend to start the sentence by " I understand ........" but never want to understand anything or " I know ........" but doesn't know a drop of your problem. They always compare who  they are now with people who's still trying to be at where they are now. They can't really see how other people struggle to achieve something. They only see themselves as the achievers and others as the failures.

Some of this is the people around you. You know them and feel that they are not being sensitive to your feelings or to your need. They just order or instruct you to do things. You feel hurt and angry but you'll just swallow it because you know, to change them is just like moving a mountain. On top of that, they don't feel what you feel.

Everyday, I thank Allah for who I am. Pray to be a better person everyday. Pray to have this sensitive heart as long a I live. Thank you to all my friends for being around and for reminding me for who I am. To all, please be sensitive to others. Think of what you are going to say to your friends, colleague, families and others.

 Please, please and please prevent yourself from becoming INSENSITIVE.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

"You are a very beautiful women". A compliment which I should be thanking but instead ..... I said " Thank you, but I'm not that beautiful". The guy said " I really mean that and you can't argue what I said because the beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Oh .... isn't that sweet?

This saying first appeared in the 3rd century BC in Greek and Shakespeare expressed a similar sentiment in Love's Labours Lost, 1588:

Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues

So ......, why is it so hard to just accept the compliment? Why do I have to deny other people appreciation? But this is how most Malaysian women react to a compliment especially when it has to do with beauty. It's just an act of being polite. We were taught that way .... at least my mom did. Guys....., don't feel offended okay.

Beauty is a gift. It's not everyday people will tell you that you're beautiful. Especially when you passed your prime age, not many people can see your beauty any more. It's okay to be beautiful. It's okay to feel beautiful. We should be grateful for what we have and when other people find us beautiful, we should be thanking not denying. It'll sound rude when we deny somebody's opinion, right? So, start showing that we appreciate other people opinion.

I didn't write this because I feel very beautiful. I am very grateful for how I look like but I'm hoping that every time somebody said I'm beautiful, he or she will see the more than just the physical beauty. I'm just reminding myself to always appreciate other people opinion, and to thank for the good words people said about you. But the most important thing is to remember to be beautiful not just from the outside but also from the inside ... from your heart.

Energy and Emotion

"All women are just the same. They just on and off their emotion without warning" Statement thrown to me after being quiet for few days. Okay, GUILTY as charged. Okay, okay. Don't say anything more.

Not every women are the same. Maybe most women but not all the women. Of course we have lots of emotion. God blessed us with the emotion.There are too many theories about emotion but according to the neurobiological theories, emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant mental state organized in the limbic system of the mammalian brain. That is mainly what we feel every second of our life .... pleasant and unpleasant. So, it's normal to have emotions. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. 


Ladies .... please don't feel guilty just because you are showing your emotion. We are women, we are allowed to do so. It's just that, we should know how to control it and not to misuse the emotion. Guys ..... please...!! Please understand. We are the delicate species, need to be understood, need to be love, need to be spoil. Believe me .... you wouldn't like a women without emotion and take it positively as a challenge. Good things doesn't come cheap .. you know.

But what does it have to do with energy? Of course .. it has to everything with energy. Don't you realised that if you feel sad, you'll feel as if you don't have energy to do anything and if you're happy, you'll feel so energetic. Personally, when I'm angry, I'll have too much of energy. To reduce the extra energy, usually cleaning the house or the office will do the tricks. So, every little detail of emotion gives a different level of energy. Hhmnn ....... does that help to understand how women has lots of different energy everyday, every  second.

This is just my personal opinion of what I feel about emotion and energy. You might agree or disagree. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just from personal experience and to share with people who wants to read it.

Newspaper cut

FB group counters ‘sexist’ wives club

Sunday June 5, 2011

PETALING JAYA: Facebook users have started a group called “We Do Not Want Sexist Nonsense From Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd” after reading about the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) launched by the organisation.

Someone called Matthew Tard Ong wrote that he created the group as he believed both partners played a role in keeping a marriage healthy.

As of 9.30pm yesterday, 133 people had joined the group.

The OWC, or Kelab Taat Suami, was launched yesterday. Its members strived to delight their husbands in almost every way.

OWC vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamad said this included keeping husbands sexually satisfied so they would not turn to prostitutes or keep mistresses.

A Muslim husband, who only wanted to be known by his first name Zul, said he did not agree with the message sent out by the club.

“Yes, sex is important, but you can’t say that it will help curb social ills in such a sweeping manner.

“There are other factors involved,” said the 36-year-old technician.

He said men tended to stray for psychological reasons that he himself did not fully understand.

Men, he said, could cheat on their wives despite having a happy marriage.

Sociologist and social activist Rohanna Ariffin suggested that OWC members read up on statistics by women’s rights groups and the police to find out the factors that caused domestic violence.

“Women shouldn’t be women’s worst enemy. Husbands have to take responsibility for their own behaviour,” said Rohanna who is also a Parti Rakyat Malaysia central committee member.

She stressed that it was wrong for women to take all the blame for men’s weaknesses.

However, Selayang Umno deputy chief Datuk Nasir Ibrahim said the club was extraordinary and unique.

He said Selayang Umno fully supported the club as most problems had their roots at home.

“There may be negative voices decrying this as male chauvinism but I don’t see it that way. If the family institution is strong with good marital relations, it can help counter social ills,” he said at the launch of the club yesterday.

Mr. Read, read and read

He's coming again? Really? That fast? Oh! No! It's already three months from his last visit.
Mr. Read, read and read is coming again. Oh! Don't get me wrong. I like him coming back again and again but he gave me palpitation. I think, I hate him but at the same time I like him. Can you really hate and like a person at the same time?? Argh!!! Whatever it is, I must focus .... an intensive focus.

Ha..ha..ha..Actually, I'm just talking about my lecturer and my thesis supervisor. He's coming to Malaysia from the U.K next week. I'm having palpitation now because ....... I haven't finish the things that he told me to do. I'll definitely get the scolding next week and most probably, I deserve it.

It's not easy to be a part-time adult student. Not easy at all but it's not impossible. Especially for those with schooling children. You must just plan every little thing that you do and every possible thing that can happen during the 2 - 4 years of the study. Plan the time that will spend with your family. Plan your time that you'll spend in the office and work. Plan the time that you need for your assignment and please plan your time to read, read and read because you'll need that in every steps of your study. REMEMBER !!! It's not easy but it is POSSIBLE.

So, Mr. Read, read and read. I'm really looking forward to see you. Doesn't matter how much palpitation you gave me, it's still worth to meet you because you're my Mr. Read, read and read.  

Charisma

I visited a blog today which make me decide to have my own blog. So, I'm officially a COPY CAT. Am I? I thought of having a better blog, so I asked my sister to create a blog for me. So, here I am.
Someone told me that having a blog is about having a charisma. You need to have a CHARISMA to have a followers. If you have it, then you are a good leader. Oh yeah ..... tell me about that. I just finished with my leadership assignment which just manage to pass. Does that mean that I'm not a good leader? Does that mean I don't have the charisma to be a leader.
CHARISMA ... CHARISMA .... I need the charisma.